Sleepwalker
by xMissDarylLeax
Summary: When Rose risked her life to save Dimitri in the caves, he made a decision. A decision that would leave Rose alone and scared with huge responsibility on her shoulders. He's back & he's about to find out what he left behind.
1. A Loaded Smile

**A/N: Hey Everyone, I started this a few weeks ago and have been building this chapter in the little bit of spare time I've had between uni and work. This is what I'd like to call a trial chapter…Basically, the idea of this is that, If I get enough positive feedback I will continue the story, I know this storyline has probably been done A LOT but this is my own spin on it, I tried to make it a little more realistic. So let me know what you think! I will add a link to the outfits mentioned ( Rose's airport outfit and Aleksander's airport outfit) on my profile if they don't work from here (Replace (DOT) with an actual dot) www(DOT)polyvore(DOT)com/aleksanders_airport_outfit/set?id=29448247 & www(DOT)polyvore(DOT)com/cgi/set?id=29434175**

**On a more sombre note…A month ago there was an Earthquake in Christchurch, New Zealand, I myself am from New Zealand and I have seen the devastation this has caused, It may not be on par with the tragic events in Japan but I think it deserves to be promoted, New Zealand is a small country with a small population and our economy Is not as bright as others, 1000's of people have lost their businesses jobs and homes and hundreds have lost their family members in collapsed buildings, so if you haven't already, please donate to Red Cross for Christchurch…That's not to say you shouldn't donate to Japan either, the images from both places have been truly chilling and life changing. Thanks for reading this…if you did ;)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…except Aleksander. The story name "Sleepwalker" belongs to Adam Lambert (love that song) and the chapter name "A Loaded Smile" belongs to Adam Lambert as well ;)**

I watched Aleksander sleep peacefully looking beautiful in his crib, life was finally coming together for the two of us. After two years of struggling to come to grips with everything and working hard, I was finally going to graduate and every day it became easier to look at my beautiful son as he grew up. It had been fourteen months of looking at the baby version of the man I still loved with all my heart, the man who had abandoned me and had never bothered to make any contact with me despite my numerous attempts. This was without even considering the seven and a half months that I spent resenting him for the fact that I got pregnant after my first and only time. It was that good ole Rose Hathaway luck.

I had been forced to grow up with yet another life in my hands. That was two and counting, although I wasn't even a guardian yet, I had been pleased when Eddie had become Lissa's guardian it was a small comfort. My training had been postponed for a year – almost like maternity leave, during that year I had moved to the court where Lissa had of course pulled numerous strings to get me a room in the Dragomir wing – I hated to say it but it really shouldn't have been that hard…there was no one else, we had been about six months from Graduating from Saint Vladimir's, so she and the others were there with me for the last two months of pregnancy.

Lissa had been enjoying every minute of being an 'aunty', that was of course because when Aleksander started crying, she could leave. I on the other hand, could not, being a mother soon turned out to be harder than any combat classes, training or fighting. Because as a mother there was always something to learn, I suppose my true graduation would come when Aleksander graduated from Saint Vladimir's, but I wouldn't be like my own mother in that aspect, I would make sure I kept in contact with him, every chance I could get I would visit. I did however have a lot to thank my mother for, she had been a rock through this whole thing, taking time to come see me and help me look after Aleksander in the first few months. She had made it clear that I could call her whenever I needed too and she had kept in regular contact.

I finally left Aleksander's room and went back to my own changing into shorts and a tank top before pulling my long hair back into a pony tail, Lissa would be here any minute to watch Aleksander for me while I trained with Alberta. When Aleksander was two months old, Alberta had come a-knocking; she had convinced the royal council to allow her to train me so that I could become a guardian. Out of everyone she had been one of the most supportive people, she had been aware of Dimitri and I being together and had accepted it. She was the only one also aware of the fact that he was the father – well the only person outside of my circle of friends who believed that two Dhampir's had produced a child. The only explanation I could offer for this phenomenon was that I was Shadow-Kissed which made me different from anyone else even then it was a stretch for me. I opened the door of our apartment before Lissa had a chance to knock, that was the beauty of our one way bond.

Lissa stood there with her hand up ready to knock on the door before shaking her head "You like doing that don't you Rose?" she chuckled  
"I do…let me go wake Aleks up" I let Lissa in before going to Aleksander's nursery, the walls were a pale green colour that I had picked, Lissa had intended on painting it the usual baby blue that all boys got, my son was anything but stereotypical. His intials A.M.H. were painted on his nursery door. Aleksander Mason Hathaway, I had put the names in the opposite order originally but I had soon found that he responded more to Aleksander; I supposed he had wanted to be his own person. Aleksander was still fast asleep in his crib, finally sleeping through the night with no interruptions, at first I had once thought that maybe he'd be nothing like me but it had been increasingly difficult to wake him up every morning.

I picked him up out of the crib kissing his cheek lightly "Aleksander..." I whispered "wake up baby" he opened his eyes slowly revealing his beautiful chocolate brown eyes that I often found myself lost in, I ran my fingers through his thick dark brown hair, it was a similar shade to mine but that was where, apart from sleeping habits that the similarities ended.  
"Aunty Lissa is here to take care of you baby" I cooed at him carrying him out of the nursery and back to the living room where Lissa was waiting  
"there's my favourite nephew" she grinned taking Aleks away from me, he grinned wildly and clung to her, so much for family loyalty. I gave him a big smooch on the cheek and picked up my gym bag. "See you soon baby boy" I waved and blew him a kiss before heading out the door.

I found Alberta waiting for me at the gym, we had been training for 12 months now, the academy and royal council had agreed that I had enough experience with Strigoi compared to anyone else. Alberta had taken me on a few missions to stake out Strigoi and during 3 of the 5 stakes we had been on, we'd been found by the very Strigoi we had planned to kill, instead of staying outside on watch, I had joined the guardians in battle and I now had 4 additional Molnija marks but still no promise mark… There was also no doubt in my mind that the fact that two well respected guardians at different times had taken a keen interest in training me to be the best had also contributed to the council's decision to allow me to graduate with no trial.

"You're on time" Alberta chuckled  
"Of course, I don't know what you're talking about Guardian Petrov" I feigned innocence. We had what could be called a dysfunctional friendship built on our mutual dedication to protecting Moroi as well as the fact that she had provided emotional support throughout my pregnancy. There were four people who knew who Aleks' father was, at least four people who knew me well enough to know I was telling the truth, Lissa, Christian, Adrian and Alberta. Everyone else believed that I had slept with a random Moroi and I would let them believe that for now.

Until I heard from Dimitri there would be no chance of anyone else knowing, I've tried so hard to contact him through Letters and by phone and not once have I gotten a call or a letter back, so stuff him, Aleksander and I are just fine on our own.

Alberta and I entered the gym and started on our reps, after the first few months they became mutual training sessions as she taught me her arsenal and I showed her everything Dimitri had taught me, I was pretty sure with all the extra expertise I had gained I could easily – well not easily but it'd be easier beat Dimitri in a fight (in theory). After we finished our reps we began to spar, we were fairly evenly matched now and it took a lot for one of us to win.

We circled each other as I gave her a cocky grin; I had a new move in my arsenal thanks to sparring with Christian's guardian, Ryan Ardal. He was an American guardian who graduated from Saint Basil's when his mother – a trained guardian moved him there 8 years ago. He had so graciously taught me those unattainable Russian swear words. We really did get on like a house on fire and it drove Christian up the wall, which was just a bonus. Ryan was only 21 but had the experience of guardians twice his age. He was also extremely good looking, he had chestnut brown hair that sat in almost a messy bob, or whatever a guy's version of a bob was, he had light blue eyes, he had a cheeky smile that lit up the room and his face looked like that of a models. He was about 6'2 and was completely cut; he always looked amazing regardless of what he wore. For now we were just friends, even though he had made it clear he wanted more. I knew I wasn't ready.

My feet connected with Alberta's shoulders as I performed a drop kick, we both hit the ground but I was on my feet as soon as I hit the ground. Alberta on the other hand was startled by my amazing new move and was struggling to get to her feet; I gave her back a hard kick as she hit the ground and straddled her placing my hand on her back as if I had staked her.

"Getting a bit rusty there Alberta?" I grinned as I got to my feet offering her my hand. She took my hand as she got up and chuckled shaking her head.  
"You really are something else Rose" she laughed  
"and that's why you like me" I gave her a lazy grin "well it was nice training with you but I gotta go…"

"Before you go anywhere, there's someone I need you pick up from the airport, they're coming for your graduation…"

I arrived home and took a long steamy shower whilst Lissa kept an eye on Aleks. I wrapped the towel around my body and stood in the mirror studying myself for a moment, my body had matured in the last two years, my boobs were bigger and my curves were killer and my body had really filled out. I'd lost all my baby fat within the first few months of training. It was tough and I had taken advantage of eating for two but the baby weight was all gone. I went into the bedroom picking out a pair of denim shorts, a simple blue wife beater and some black Chuck Taylors. I picked out my favourite hat - a straw fedora. It was simple but cute at the same time. I walked out of the bedroom finding Lissa and Aleksander playing with blocks on the floor.  
"Thanks Liss…" I sat down beside her watching Aleksander running his hands over the blocks before picking one up and chucking it right at me before breaking out in a giggle. He was definitely my son. Today Lissa dressed him in a black, yellow and white check shirt, jeans, brown Chuck Taylors and a fedora, as if she knew what I was going to wear.

I stood in the arrivals lounge waiting for this mystery guest, Aleksander was fast asleep in his push chair snuggled into his favourite toy elephant that was half the size of him, Adrian had bought it for him when he was born, at first Aleks had been smaller than the toy and he slept had beside it, now Aleks was twice the size of it, at 14 months old he was in 2 year old clothes and rapidly growing out of them. I smiled to myself as I knelt down pulling a blanket out from the storage basket and wrapping it around him. He looked so cute with his fedora all askew and his face cuddled right up to Dumbo – I had named the elephant that in the hops that when Aleks started talking it'd catch on. I unhooked the cover and pulled it down keeping the light off of him and the sound away from him, it was better when he had long naps, he got grumpy otherwise.

I stood up starting to wonder if this mystery guest was ever going to arrive…

"Roza…" his familiar accent cut through the air like a knife, I felt my heart rate speed up instantly, he looked beautiful, his long hair sat at his shoulders and his eyes looked smouldering, they were filled with emotion, he had a gorgeous smile on his face, he wore a tight black t-shirt and pair of jeans that made his body look amazing.  
"You…you're who I'm picking up?" I questioned starting to get pissed off  
"that's what Guardian Petrov said" he shrugged  
"better go to the car then" I sighed and led him out to the car, suddenly very glad that Aleks was asleep and I had pulled the cover down.  
"Did Christian and Vasilisa have a child?" Dimitri questioned very confused as he eyed the pram "Tasha never mentioned it."  
"This is my son…Aleksander Mason Hathaway" I said as I picked him up out of the push chair careful not to wake him the combination of the hat, Dumbo and the blanket kept his face covered as I placed him in his car seat, he was adorable.

The look on Dimitri's face was on of hurt and confusion "Is that why you're only graduating now?"  
"Yes" I said simply getting into the driver's seat; Alberta was going to pay for this. Dimitri got into the passenger's seat glancing back at Aleksander who was starting to stir. I cooed at him making sure he went back to sleep before turning my attention back to the road, I planned on ignoring Dimitri for the ride home.

"Roza…talk to me…" Dimitri sighed watching me from the passenger's seat  
"why would you want to talk to me? You never replied to any of my calls or letters" I hissed at him  
"There were none of those Roza; I would have replied if there were" he replied looking sad  
"Are you calling me a liar?" I questioned him furiously  
"No Roza…I'm just confused" he sighed loudly  
"well stop being confused, I sent you a letter every month for a year, I even photo copied them, I have phone records to say I tried calling but your precious Tasha always answered and said you weren't there, I figured you probably told her not to let me speak to you." I growled at him, careful to keep my voice down "and do not raise your voice or you'll have a grumpy fourteen month old to deal with"  
"I…I…Tasha must have kept it all from me" he said looking truly distraught; one of his best friends and probably his girlfriend had lied to him. He didn't understand the importance of the letters or the phone calls however.

I pulled up outside the hotel in court once we had gotten through court security; I was still pissed off with Alberta.  
"We can meet for dinner Comrade…we have a lot to catch up on" I gave him a small smile it would take a long time for me to forgive him for leaving but I intended on telling him the truth  
"Okay Roza, I will see you later…" he trailed off looking sad as he opened the passenger door  
"Look Dimitri, I'm sure that there's a room in a Dragomir wing that you could take. You're only here for my graduation right?" I internally cursed myself for not thinking things through before I spoke  
"are you sure Roza?" he asked sounding nervous  
"I'm sure. Now shut the door…" I smiled again; I was beginning to get annoyed with my traitorous heart. My brain was screaming no, but my heart was in my throat, every time I said or did something nice I was acting on my old feelings. I was still pissed off with him for leaving but I knew that Tasha was capable of doing something like this and next time I saw the bitch I would tear her apart. My son had missed out on his father from the start of his life because that dumb bitch was so damn jealous she made sure we had no contact. I even felt a little sorry for Dimitri; he had missed a few key firsts, first smile, first steps, his first word, all of it, and it wasn't even his fault, because though he left, I had no doubt in my mind that if he knew about Aleksander he would have been back right away, that's just how he is. I pulled up in front of the royal housing so caught up in my thoughts that I failed to realise that Aleksander was babbling away to Dimitri who was watching intently…surely Dimitri would realise by looking at Aleksander's eyes that he was his father. I certainly I hoped I would get the opportunity to tell him myself before he realised it…this was going to be a long night.

**A/N: This is kind of a trial chapter, I would love to get some feedback on this before I post more than one chapter; So PLEASE review ****If I get enough positive feedback I will continue it.**


	2. Talking to the Moon

**A/N: This is a very early update for me. I have obviously decided to continue this story, thank you guys so much for the reviews, I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations! Enjoy! And please keep reviewing. **

**Rose's Dinner outfit: http:/www(DOT)polyvore(DOT)com/cgi/set?id=29721999 - Remember to replace the dots :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing; the title of the chapter 'Talking to The Moon' belongs to Bruno Mars. If anyone knows the song they should see how it fits with this chapter. **

I stood in front of the mirror checking my outfit again. Not that I was trying to impress Dimitri or anything. I scowled at myself in the mirror, I knew I looked good but the whole point of this outfit had been to look good and now it was to impress Dimitri. I wore my favourite pair of black skinny jeans with a pale pink frilly blouse that had a black belt tied around it; I slipped on pale pink stiletto heels and then fished out all of my black and gold jewellery, flower earrings, black and gold bracelets and a black and gold chained necklace. I guess I just liked things to match. I stood there for a while thinking about whether to leave my hair out or tie it back – you know that important things in life. I tied my long dark hair back into a messy plated bun and put a black headband in before applying fuchsia pink lipstick and black eye shadow.

In the few hours between him leaving to rest and get ready to go to dinner and now all that had played on my mind was how Dimitri would react to Aleksander being his son, would he be happy, Sad, Angry? – Though he had nothing to be angry about, I had tried my hardest to contact him. It still worried me, all I wanted was a good father for my son and I knew Dimitri could be it. It was all an unknown factor that left me incredibly nervous. So instead for a short period of time I chose to focus on how I looked, forget about my responsibilities and spend my time picking out the perfect outfit and adding all the perfect jewellery and make up to the mix. It was a good temporary distraction that took my mind off my heart beating tenfold, the pterodactyl's flying around in my stomach and the small beads of sweat that we're rolling down my forehead. I heard a knock on the door and realised it was Lissa before my nerves got any worse.

I rushed out the bedroom and opened the door for her "Hey Liss" I smiled brightly trying to hide my obvious nerves  
"It's going to be okay Rose" she chuckled pulling me into a hug "You know that Guardian Belikov wont react badly, he already clearly adores Aleks." I wish I believed her.  
"Thanks Liss" I led her over to Aleks who was playing quietly in his play pen, at first I had hated the idea of putting my son in what I thought would be some terrifying cage but once he started walking I learnt the hard way that having a play pen would be worth it. I'd turned around for a second to answer a call on my cell phone and when I turned around he was gone, I had gone into panic mode running around the apartment like a headless chicken as I screamed his name after a couple of minutes of that I found him climbing up some shelves in the spare bedroom, the shelves had very sharp edges and it was by sheer luck that he hadn't fallen and cut himself on the way down. That day I had invested in the best playpen money could buy using my weekly pay from my 9 to 5 job as an office assistant at Guardian headquarters had paid for that. A job Alberta had scored for me, might I add.

Speaking of Alberta I was still very pissed off at her for sending me to that airport with no idea of who I was picking up, truth be told, if she had told me it was Dimitri, I probably wouldn't have picked him up, but that's beside the point. Not only did she not tell me that was who I was picking up but she also didn't tell me that she invited him to my graduation in the first place. Again, to be completely honest I probably would have told her where to shove it before she could invite him but it was the principle. That was what I was I going to keep telling myself anyway.

"You know what you've got to do Liss, I won't bother repeating it." I chuckled, I looked down at Aleksander who was now watching us intently, he began pouting when he spotted my clutch, he recognized the clutch as a sign that I wasn't taking him. I frowned, he made it so hard to leave him but this whole dinner was for him, so there was no pulling out. I picked him up out of the play pen cuddling him to me "Mummy won't be too far away Aleks, don't be sad." I kissed his forehead leaving lipstick marks on it, I licked my finger and began rubbing it off as Aleks giggled "that's better, now Aunty Lissa will look after you." He grinned at the mention of her name – again, where was the family loyalty with this kid?

I hugged him tightly to me whisper singing the words to his favourite Russian lullaby, I had learnt them before he was born. Something in me had wanted my son to be connected to his father's heritage so I had committed to that and taken a few Russian language classes, I wasn't good at it, but I had come away with a few ideas of how to teach him. I found some Russian lullabies and kids songs on the internet and managed to produce a Russian language tape that was of me saying things in Russian, I was good when I made the tape but now…not so much. I played the music and the language tape when it was time for Aleksander to sleep and now his nonsensical sentences were a mixture of both languages. It was amazing how fast he was developing but he'd been spoken to in both languages since birth. His eyes glazed over as his little eyelids began to flutter shut.

I passed him to Lissa who was frowning at me "Don't look like that Liss, if he doesn't go to sleep now he'll have you chasing after him all night. You know he doesn't listen to you" I chuckled "if he wakes up put one of the Russian tapes on, it should put him back to sleep" she knew everything I was telling her but I liked to make things clear. It was something I'd picked up with motherhood. I hugged Lissa and Aleks close to me before picking up my clutch and walking out the door, Dimitri's apartment was two doors down from mine. I walked up to the door knocking on it as my emotions went wild. I put my shaking hands in my pockets trying to act casual. Dimitri opened the door a minute later as we stood there staring at each other, he wore dark jeans and a cream coloured shirt, his duster sat over his arm which I couldn't help but chuckle at. His long dark hair sat messily around his shoulders and neck as a small piece hung over one of his eyes, his face was filled with many emotions.

"Looking good Comrade" I grinned cheekily, I really needed to think before I spoke as I internally cursed myself for saying that  
"You look amazing Roza…" he said quietly practically whispering.  
"Thanks" I reply biting my lip "We should go. There's _a lot _to catch up on."

We reached our final destination ten minutes later; it was a nice little Italian restaurant in the middle of court, it was my favourite and it had nice private booths at the back. I led him to the booth I had booked and sat down with him, my nerves were quietly building as I gulped subconsciously. We order our food and drinks and sat there in near silence, it was time to start talking.  
"I have something to tell you" I felt my mouth begin to dry up  
"What is it Roza?" he looked at me his eyes full of concern  
"I want to tell you who Aleksander's father is…" I trail off forcing myself to look at him "You're Aleksander's father Dimitri" I practically blurt. I watch in horror as he just sits there staring at me, what the hell is going through that man's mind? I pull Aleksander's birth certificate out of my clutch placing it in front of him, I'd written his name on the birth certificate from day one. r  
"He is?" he whispers sounding shocked "why didn't Tasha tell me?"  
"Maybe she didn't realise what was in the letters" I tried to come up with an explanation; I wasn't defending her as such. But I didn't want to believe that she was capable of keeping someone from their child.  
"How Roza? How is it possible?" he exclaims seeming to finally gain back his full awareness  
"She loves you Dimitri, that's how." I sighed; it was unfortunately true  
"No…I mean how it is possible for Aleksander to be my son? Dhampir's can't have children together" he questioned, I was struggling to keep my temper at bay, was he implying that I was lying?  
"I don't know Dimitri, the only explanation that any has ever been able to offer is the fact that I'm shadow kissed, it makes me extremely different to anyone else. I'm also bonded to someone who can bring people back to life. So maybe…when she healed me, she healed the gene in me."  
"I can't believe I've missed out on so much" He sighs looking upset "maybe you didn't try hard enough to contact me"

I sat there staring at him in disbelief; he must be fudging crazy if he thinks I didn't try hard enough to contact him. I felt the increasing need to punch him in the face but my self-control was a lot better now that I was a mother, plus he was my son's father and punching him would achieve nothing.  
"I will pull out every letter and every phone record if you need the damn proof Dimitri but don't you EVER accuse me of not doing something for my son." I spoke calmly even though I was ready to burst. His look went from upset and angry to regretful and I knew he realised what a dumb ass mistake it was to say something like that.  
"I'm…I'm sorry Roza." he sputtered out, I'd never seen him look so nervous and vulnerable in my life and that was saying something  
"You better be." I scowled at him "Look I understand you're upset but I need to know sooner rather than later if you intend on being in Aleksander's life, we've been doing fine without you and I do not want to see my son hurt by you. " I was going to be all business from here, letting my heart rule my actions could lead to Aleks being hurt and I was 100% determined to make sure that he would never be hurt or abandoned like I was by Dimitri.

"I'm so sorry Roza, I'm sorry you had to go through this alone. I wish I had have caught on to Tasha's antics. I don't ever want to miss out on being in Aleksander's life. I promise you." He spoke breaking the silence  
"It's okay, it's really not your fault." I only meant that it wasn't his fault for not knowing about Aleksander, I was still hurt because he left me, all because of his stupid ideals and pride. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to forgive him. "If you want, after dinner, I can show you the copies of the letters?" I offered, every letter had talked about Aleksander's development, from pregnancy to birth, up until about a month ago.  
"I would love to see them" he smiled a warm happy smile.

We spent the rest of dinner talking about Aleksander as I told Dimitri about our life so far and funny stories about Aleksander wreaking havoc. I guess he was his mother's son. As we walked back to the Dragomir wing Dimitri told me a story of his own.  
"You know, right after I left, I got a call from my grandmother Yeva. She talked about how in her latest visions, the 'fire woman' was keeping an important secret from me, one that would change my life if I found out. But I never understood what she meant until now. Sometimes, her visions aren't accurate or relate to possibilities, so I almost forgot about that call, I regret ignoring her." He smiled sadly "I missed out on my son's first year of life and I was never ever there for you Roza."  
"You had no control over Tasha's actions Dimitri and you wouldn't question her because you've been best friends for a long time and friends don't do that to one another. The sad part is, that not only did you miss out on your son's life but he missed out on having his father there. But all you did wrong, was trust her." I paused for a moment, that didn't sound right to me " all I'm saying is, don't spend your time blaming yourself, you've got a lot of time to get to know your son and chances are, he won't even realise you weren't there. He's bright but, he's doesn't understand any other role than mum."

I slid my key into the lock opening the apartment door to find Lissa and Aleksander curled up together on the couch, I chuckled quietly at the sight and wrapped a blanket around the two of them. I took Dimitri's hand in mine, pulling toward the bedroom, in any other situation this would have been amusing, but my mood was all business tonight. He sat down on the bed watching me as I fished out the box of letter's I kept in the closet. I sat down beside him pulling out the very first letter I wrote to him; I was about 3 months pregnant at the time.

_Dimitri,_

_I didn't want to tell you this through a letter but I have not been able to reach you on the phone. Over the past few months I have been feeling nauseous and weak so I went to __Dr Olendski, she tested for everything under the sun, except one thing. Pregnancy. I tried so many different pregnancy tests and they all came back positive. The reason you're the recipient of this news is because you're the father of my unborn baby, or as I call it, "bean" You know, since it looks like a bean. I don't expect you to come back if you receive this but I think it's time you knew. I have included the first ultrasound photo for you and I will continue to keep you updated. Take care of yourself Comrade._

_Rose _

Stapled to the letter was a copy of the ultrasound, with an arrow and circle drawn around and pointing to tiny Aleksander's foetus. Back then I still acted like a kid myself. From scan one I had called him Bean and even after birth I still persisted with the nickname but it only confused him. It would catch on soon, I was sure. Yeah right.

Dimitri stared down at the letter and the scan as silent tears rolled down his cheeks, I wondered if he could tell how hard I had tried to make myself sound fine that letter.

"I'm so sorry Roza" he murmured.

"It's okay…" I pulled out the next letter.

With each letter came more tears from the both of us, mine from remembering each and every word from them and Dimitri's because of, well everything. The next letter I found was from his first birthday. It was by far my favourite.

_Dimitri,_

_It's finally here, Bean is one years old. I think I'm more excited about that then he is. His party was Elephant themed because he loves Dumbo so much. Our amazing little boy is slowly speaking more and more words, in both Russian and English. Even If he can't have you in his life at least he'll know all about where you grew up, in freezing cold Siberia, right Comrade? _

_Anyways, his party was a huge success, Lissa invited everyone we knew, and they all turned up, Aleks has scored some mega awesome presents. I'm starting to think I should celebrate his birthday more often. Kidding, of course. I could tell that even at one year's old with only like 50 words to his name, Aleks enjoyed every bit of his party. I just wish you had been here to see this, he has so much love and affection around him but I know if you were here, he'd finally have all the love he needed. I have included quite a few photos from the party. Adrian even hired a baby elephant! It was mind blowing and probably mind blowingly expensive. I know my summary and the picture won't ever really match up to just how amazing it really was but I think I've said enough._

_Rose_

There were 5 photos there, one of me and Aleksander, Aleks was on the elephant and I was standing beside him holding him in place, the next was of Aleksander staring mesmerizingly at his elephant shaped birthday cake and the candle on its head, the next was a group shot, Me, Aleks, Lissa, Christian, Adrian, my mother and Alberta. All of us looked so incredibly proud and excited to be there. The fourth photo was another of me and Aleksander, we were sitting on a bench watching the performers that Lissa had organized, Aleksander was pointing and grinning as I clearly talked to him, it was probably my favourite shot of all, the fifth and final picture was on Aleksander was cake all around his mouth, on his nose and cheeks, he looked adorable and incredibly mischievous. I watched as Dimitri looked through the photos smiling at each one.

"I've missed so much…" he looked so upset, I almost wanted to hug him. Almost. But I made myself stay where I was.  
"and there's many, many years to come. You'll forget what you've missed once you've seen more firsts." I smiled and patted his arm as electricity surged through me, I pulled my hand away as Dimitri smiled down at me.  
"Thank you for being so understanding and patient, I don't deserve it." He said as our face's inched silently closer, our lips were about two centimetres apart when I stood up adding as much space between us as possible.

"I'm not ready…" I murmured.

Between this, motherhood and graduation, life just got that little bit more confusing…

**A/N: So what did you think? Reviews, criticism and feedback are welcome! **


	3. Hold Your Head High

**A/N: First of all I would like to thank EVERYONE for reviewing, I can't believe I have 20 reviews already, thank you all so much. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it is a long one, I hope this holds some of you over because I won't be able to update for at least a week, I have a couple of tests coming up and an essay due next week so I need to focus on those. There may be some drama in the next chapter…involving a certain someone who caused all that baby daddy drama =P anyways, enjoy and please review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, well I own Ryan and Aleks :D The song "Hold Your Head High" belongs to Colbie Caillat.**

I opened my eye's smiling brightly, it was graduation day. After all that hard work, I'd finally be able to guard Lissa. The only tough part of it was that I'd also have to start sending to Aleksander to day-care. I knew I'd spend all my time worrying about him, which made matter's worse. I got up and went into the bathroom turning on the shower, Aleks was asleep in his crib and he wouldn't wake up for at least half an hour, giving me time to get ready. Lissa had already out an outfit in my closet for graduation and unfortunately she had planned a graduation Ball. I stepped into the shower enjoying the warmth of the water. It relaxed my tight muscles that were tense from the current stress in my life, baby daddy issues.

After spending 20 minutes in the shower I got out wrapping a towel around my body and another around my hair. I walked out of the bathroom pulling the outfit Lissa had bought to my room yesterday out of the closet; I hadn't paid much attention to what it was purely to piss Lissa off. I pulled out a pair of boot leg black pants, a white frilly sleeved shirt with a thin black belt around it and black pumps. Sitting on the floor beside the shoe box was a bag with two small jewellery boxes in it. I opened the first little box to find a pair of black earrings shaped like singular lightning strikes; they were cute and obviously represented Molnija marks. I picked up the second box and opened it to find a stunning heart shaped locket on a short thick chain, inside the locket was a picture of her and I that was taken right before I left the academy to have Aleks. The locket looked expensive but really cute; I wasn't going to question the price because I knew it'd pissed me off.

I changed into the outfit and put the extravagant jewellery on; If Lissa had her way I'd guard her in this outfit permanently, she was always one for fashion, but if anything, the shoes would have to go. I had personally decided that I would reserve the outfit for special occasions, especially the extremely expensive, extremely high heels. I had insisted on wearing guardian like attire for my ceremony, because once that promise mark was done I would officially be Lissa's guardian and I wanted everyone to know that.

I pulled my hair into a loose pony tail before going to check on Aleks. He was already awake in his crib sitting up and clutching Dumbo as he grinned when he caught sight of me.  
"Мама" he giggled reaching toward me  
"Come on then" I chuckled and picked him up as he wrapped his arms around my neck.  
I hugged him tightly to me, this was a regular ritual for us; normally I'd wake him up and keep him close to me for as long as possible before I had to get him ready. I cherished these moments because as he grew I knew he'd want to do that less and less, eventually he'd be a teenager with hopefully way less attitude then me. Somehow I didn't think there was a chance in hell of that.

I placed him on the chair the sat in the corner of his room and went to his closet pulling out the only suit I had let Lissa buy him, it was purely for my graduation and nothing else. I wanted Aleksander to enjoy his childhood before he would be sent to any academy. I had been putting serious consideration into sending him to a Russian Academy called St Basils but sending him all the way to Russia did not sound appealing at the moment and I didn't think it ever would. I took the suit over to the chair where Aleks was sitting and made him stand up as I pulled his onesie pyjamas off. I wished I owned a pair of those actually. They looked so comfortable. I chuckled to myself as Aleksander gave me a confused look, I shook my head at him before helping him into his little black suit pants, a blue shirt and a matching suit jacket; he looked adorable. I slipped on his fancy little black shoes, another thing I adored, his shoes were so small!

"What day is it Bean?" I questioned as his little eyebrows furrowed for a moment, he was registering the nickname, it was slowly catching on  
"Gwaduation" he grinned proudly, that was one word he learned fast after hearing everyone mentioning it  
Good boy" I kissed him and hugged him to me again "Мама is becoming a guardian today" his excitement only stemmed for mine but a part of me hoped that he was proud of me, in his own way, I thought he might be. This kid was turning me into the biggest sap around.

I led him out of his room holding his hand as he waddled along, it meant kneeling in these huge heels but I loved watching him and supporting him, I was so proud. I sat him in his high chair sure to put his eating smock on, he was the messiest eater and I was going to make sure he didn't ruin his suit with food. I prepared him his favourite breakfast, Nutella on toast; he loved all things chocolate and Nutella was my compromise. I gave it to him in small proportions making sure he only had it a couple of times a week. Month by month he grew and month by month I became more mature and learnt something new about motherhood, it was a scary journey but in the end I would raise my son with as much love, attention and responsibility as possible. Now I had to get Dimitri on the same wave length, he wanted to be in Aleksander's life so now he had to start learning. In an ironic way the teacher and mentor was now becoming the student.

I had understood Dimitri when it came to Aleksander and all things that involved keeping in contact but I didn't think I would ever understand why he left me or ever forgive him for it. I knew I'd have to learn to trust him for Aleksander's sake and maybe we could build a friendship but as far as I was concerned all romantic feelings would be put in a pocket with a hole in it, to be forgotten. I was really kidding myself if I ever believed I could get over Dimitri but making the decision to just be friends made it easier.

I helped Aleks eat his food before scoffing down a protein bar, with the banquet I was sure Lissa had planned for later, I knew I wouldn't need it.

"Let's go see Aunty Lissa" I chuckled as I pulled Aleks' smock over his head, even with toast it was better to be safe than sorry. His face lit up at the mention of her name, man I needed to work on this family loyalty thing. I placed him in his push chair strapping him in before grabbing Dumbo for him, he snatched Dumbo out of my hand cuddling the toy elephant to him and whispering something In Russian.

I picked up my purse and keys putting them with Aleksander's bag of tricks in the bottom push chair cubby before pushing him out the door locking it behind me. I walked the short distance to Lissa's huge living quarters, knocking on the door excitedly. She opened the door looking rushed  
"Come in, Come in!" she chuckled she was actually quite stressed underneath her excited demeanour; she had decided to plan the entire graduation ceremony and a full blown ball after it. I didn't understand her fascination with having balls.

"You know you didn't have to go to so much trouble Lissa" I shook my head ready to scold her a little for it, it was stressing her out on top of her correspondence studies, she had decided not to go to Le High and instead stayed at court to support me, sometimes I had no idea what I'd done to deserve someone so supportive. I knew she was studying the foundations of teaching, hoping that as more people were found to be spirit users they could work in class like sessions to help each other learn and progress.

"Rose this a big day, you're graduating, you're becoming my Guardian, Finally!" she exclaimed, her thoughts and determination leaked into my own mind making me aware of the speech I would get if I didn't stop her right now  
"Yeah whatever, now do my hair and makeup" I demanded giving her a lazy grin  
"then sit down and shut up" Lissa replied cheekily grinning back at me "Ryan do you mind watching Aleks while I do Rose's makeup and hair?"  
"Not at all" he gave me a wink before picking up Aleksander carrying him into another room; I couldn't help the blush that warmed my cheeks. I was becoming increasingly attracted to him. I was even considering accepting his offer of a date if he asks again; maybe it was my feeble attempt to forget about my feelings for Dimitri but at least I was attracted to him. It didn't count as using him? Right?

"Someone has a crush" Lissa chuckled as she started on my hair straightening it bit by bit  
"Who Ryan?" I answered chuckling  
"I think you know who Rose"  
"it's less crush, more attraction" I shrugged  
"You should give him a chance Rose." She said as she continued with my hair "It might be good for you, especially with Guardian Belikov back"  
"Maybe Liss, but I'll see how I feel since he knows he's Aleks' father" I smiled trying to get her to drop it  
"Whatever you say Rose" she finished my hair brushing it so it sat flat on my sides and back, she did my makeup, applying a small amount of black eye shadow, mascara and red lip-gloss. She finished my hair and makeup and held up a mirror in front of me, I was almost in awe of her hair and makeup job, It was simple but stunning. I didn't like thinking of myself that way but I really did look stunning.

"You're a miracle worker Liss" I beamed at her  
"Don't be stupid Rose, you're gorgeous, with or without make up." She patted my shoulder  
"I second that" Ryan spoke startling us both  
"You're such a charmer Ryan…flattery will get you nowhere" I chuckled  
"You say that now but wait until I shower you with compliments, you'll never be able to resist my charm" he gave me a wink as Aleksander giggled at Ryan's goofy facial expression sitting happily in his arms.  
"You're just a big softy Ardal" I chuckled as he started talking to Aleksander in Russian using a baby voice  
"Only for this little one. You've got a champion right here Rose." He grinned as Aleks said something in Russian that sounded really cheeky; I couldn't quite understand the words.  
"What have you taught my son?"  
"Nothing important" he grinned knowing I couldn't understand  
"You know I can just ask his father" I chuckled  
"his father?" Ryan gave me a confused look…I guess I forgot to explain the whole situation.  
"Yup" I answered popping the P, I didn't feel like explaining it to him  
"oh okay" he let it go, obviously not wanting to push the subject.

There was an awkward atmosphere in the air after that, neither of us knew what to say as Lissa cleaned up all her makeup and hair supplies. I finally took a proper look at what she was wearing, she looked amazing, she wore a midnight blue one shoulder dress, it made her jade green eyes look absolutely stunning in contrast with the dress, her long blonde hair sat in curls at her shoulders, she wore gold glitter heels and a chunky gold bracelet with a match necklace. She wore a contrast of midnight blue and black around her eyes and light lip gloss. If she looked like this now I couldn't imagine what she had planned for the graduation ball.

"Wow Liss, you look amazing" I smiled at her  
"thanks Rose, we better hurry up and get to your graduation" she chuckled.  
I stood up looking at Ryan who was still playing with Aleksander on the couch  
"Hand over the baby Ardal" I chuckled  
"I'm not sure about that Rose, I think he likes me" he grinned snatching a giggling Aleks up in his arms  
"don't make me hurt you Ryan, not in front of my son" I offered with a grin  
"You wouldn't" he placed Aleks on the couch getting into a fighting stance  
"You better not Rose, not after the effort I put into your hair and makeup" Lissa glared at me  
I turned away from Lissa focusing on Ryan before I ran toward him before side stepping and picking up Aleks from the couch "I wouldn't" I grinned at him taking Aleks over to his push chair placing him in it and strapping him in.  
"Let's go Liss"

We left Lissa's apartment a few minutes later, Eddie and I walked down the hall behind Lissa and Christian whilst Ryan walked ahead of them.  
"You're finally joining the Guardian ranks Rose" Eddie smiled "Mason would be so proud"  
"thanks Eddie, I just wish he was still here, things would be different" the memories of Mason were rapidly dampening my mood  
"I know Rose, but don't let it ruin your big day" He patted my arm.  
"Mind if I join you guys?" a familiar accent asked startling us from behind  
"Of course not Dimitri" I gave him a small smile "You can push Aleks for me"  
"it'd be my honour" he chuckled taking the push chair from me as our hands brushed in the exchange I quickly focused on the group ahead of me, I refused to get flustered over this. Lissa gave me a knowing look as we all walked in silence, ahead of us Ryan had gone completely rigid and whenever he turned his head I could see his stoic guardian mask in place.

"So Comrade, I reckon I could take you in a fight" I beamed at him, the excitement of graduation was back  
"I don't know about that Roza…" he chuckled shaking his head "You only beat me once remember"  
"Well, I've got a more moves in my arsenal and an extra special one I've even taken Alberta down with" I gave Ryan a wink when he turned his head and finally that mask slipped revealing a proud grin  
"Oh really? Well we'll have to arrange that" Dimitri sent me a wink of his own making me melt inside.

We reached the grand hall a few minutes as Lissa made me cover my eyes I kept obviously peeking through my fingers before a set of strong warm hands cover mine "do it for the princess Roza" Dimitri whispered into my ear. I hoped Dimitri had remembered to get someone to push Aleksander into the hall.

I let myself be led through the door imagining the look on Ryan's face as he watched Dimitri lead me into the Grand hall, I imagined Christian or Eddie pushing Aleksander into the hall looking thoroughly un-amused and then I imagined the excited look I knew would be on Lissa's face, she was radiating enough excitement for about 10 people, I was tempted to slip into her head but I decided to let her have her surprise.

Finally Dimitri's warm hands pulled mine away from my face, I was in awe of the hall in front of me, there were no cheap balloons or streamers in sight, everything was stunning, she had bunches of red roses by each row of seats, deep red fabric lined the walls, up the front with a podium covered in written messages and photos, as if it were my birthday – there was a table full of food including my favourite ones, she'd really gone all out for this and this was just the graduation ceremony, I couldn't imagine what she had lined up for the Ball. I pitied the poor people who had to redecorate.

"Wow Liss, it looks amazing" I grinned at her pulling her into a tight hug  
"I know. I wanted it to look perfect for your special day" she hugged me back before breaking the hug.

I looked around at all the people that were there, my mother and some strange man sat in the front row along with Adrian, Mia and Alberta, there were some spare seats beside them that I assumed were for Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Dimitri and Ryan, about three quarters of the people who graduated when I was supposed to sat in the rows behind, in the rows behind them sat some really random individuals, some I knew, some I'd really never seen or at least remembered. I think I even spotted Ambrose and Rhonda amongst the people there. Lissa had invited everyone.

I approached my mother first, I was actually happy to see her "Hey Mom"  
"Hello Rose" we hugged before I picked Aleksander up out of his push chair  
"Look Aleks, It's Grandma" I chuckled as he squealed in delight reaching out to her, she took him from me hugging him to her and talking baby talk to him "the famous Guardian Hathaway melting for her grandson, that's something I never thought I'd see" I chuckled  
"Have you seen this face Rose? How could you not?" she laughed, our friendly banter was so refreshing, I had stopped resenting her when I finally realised what I had to give up to raise my son, our chatter went back and forth for a while before I remembered the weird guy sitting down beside her.  
"Who's the weird guy Mom?"  
"Rose could you be anymore rude?" she shook her head  
"probably not" I grinned at her  
"Rose, this is Abe Mazur" she introduced him, something about him was familiar. He was Moroi and he had the Moroi traits, he was tall but slightly broader than most Moroi and more strikingly he had tan skin, his hair was as dark as mine, he had a short thick beard, if I was guessing where he came from I'd guess somewhere like Turkey. He wore a deep red suit with a black shirt and red tie, around his neck sat a black scarf. He almost looked like a pimp, the thought caused me to chuckle, my mother and pimp hanging out.  
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Rosemarie" he offered his hand for a handshake which I accepted, his palm was warm and his hand engulfed mine  
"It's nice to meet you too Abe." And that's when it all clicked "Wait a minute…he's not? He is isn't he? He's my father" I blurted out.

Janine looked very worried but behind her eyes there was a hint of relief "you're right Rose"  
"Well it's nice to meet you Dad" I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it all  
"You have no idea how nice it is to finally see you Rose." He sounded genuine  
"I always wondered what you were like, you seem pretty badass, but you've got to lose the pimp look" I grinned  
"The pimp look is part of the package" he chuckled; I think I liked this guy "you clearly didn't inherit my sense of style"  
"Thankfully not but I do have to say thanks for the awesome hair and tan" I laughed before turning my attention to something else "Well Old man, I suppose its two for one day for you." I took Aleks from my mother and turned toward Abe "Sweetie this is Grandpa, you can call him Gramps for short, Old man works too" Aleks stared at Abe in wonder, that I understood, there was a lot more to Abe then a witty sense of humour and whilst I enjoyed meeting him but it would take some time for me to trust him.  
"Hey Little One" I hand Aleks over to him once he was finally comfortable and left my parents – how weird is that, I just met my dad – to look after him.

"Little Dhampir" Adrian grinned at me "I was thinking of asking my aunt if you could be my guardian" I knew he was joking but that didn't stop me from glaring at him  
"well you can stop straining yourself, because You know exactly what I'd do you if you did such a thing" I chuckled  
"I suppose I do" he gave me a wink "I'm so proud of you Little Dhampir, you've done such an amazing job, in motherhood and in training, you've taken everything in your stride"  
"Thanks Adrian" he pulled me into a hug, not long after I gave birth, Adrian and I had decided friendship was all we'd ever have, I knew it had taken a lot for Adrian to admit that but we were better for it.

The graduation itself was amazing, both Alberta and Dimitri had spoken about being my mentors and they'd both sounded so proud, they'd added the odd funny story in there at my expense but I hadn't minded it, they both had pushed me to work hard at different parts of my life. After his speech Dimitri had produced a box from thin air and handed it to me, I opened excitedly to find a silver stake, engraved was my name and a rose, under that there was Aleksander's birthdate. On the top of the stake there was the Dragomir Crest, I felt tears well in my eyes, it was beautiful. I wasn't sure who to thank for it but before I had time to think I was being usher over to the chair to get my promise mark. The promise mark was something I had longed for, the tattooist wound it around my Molnija marks beautifully. I was happy to be here with all the people that mattered but I was still sad, sad because Mason wasn't here, sad because I was promised to a life of killing the un-dead and most of all sad because I wanted to enjoy this without any sadness. The rest of the very long ceremony went by with a blur.

This occasion was certainly one I'd remember for the rest of my life and another part of me to be proud of, I'd certainly never forget meeting my father, but most of all I'd never forget Dimitri and Alberta's kind words.

A new life was starting once again and I sure hoped I'd be ready for it.

**A/N: Sooo what'd you guys think about this chapter and the addition of Abe? I personally love Abe so I had to add him, did you think Rose's reaction was okay? In my mind her reaction to things has been so calm because she has had a lot on her mind, she will be expressing her feelings and frustrations in the next two chapters, more so the 5****th**** chapter. Please let me know what you thought about this chapter and what you'd like to see! **


	4. Casualty of Love

**A/N: Hey everyone thanks again for all the reviews. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Here is a link to all the outfits so far =) including the ones mentioned in this chapter. http:/www(DOT)polyvore(DOT)com/sleepwalker/collection?id=880826 – remember to replace the (DOT) with a full stop. I will definately be updating my other fics as I am on mid semester break from uni and I will also upload a one shot soonish.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Especially the song "Casualty of Love" belongs to Jessie J – you guys should really check out her music, she's amazing!**

I stood outside the huge doors of the grand hall once again, this time no one was covering my eyes and I was alone, I had gone back to Lissa's with everyone after graduation to get ready and once Lissa was ready she had forced basically everyone in her apartment to go with her to make sure things were all set up. I had left Aleksander with my parents for the moment, I would meet them inside. I was now dressed in a very expensive outfit, much to my dismay, but Lissa was in a charge and there was no arguing with Lissa.

I wore a deep red one shouldered chiffon gown with a cream cut-out in the side of it, it was probably worth over $1000 but right now I think I'll keep pretending it's just a cheap dress, paired with the dress were strappy black YSL heels, again, far too expensive for me to fathom, My hair was tied back in a loose bun with a black beaded head band, my ring matched it and I wore gold lightning strike earrings. Lissa had changed my make up slightly with lighter lip-gloss and bronze coloured eye makeup.

I finally open the doors amazed by the sight in front of me, the walls are almost entirely surrounded by candles illuminated the room beautifully, there are tables centred around what appears to be a dance floor, the round tables are beautifully decorated in black and red with balls of Red Roses in the centre, each table has a couple of candles as well. I guess Lissa roped some poor fire user into this. The biggest table sits everyone I care about the most, my mom and Abe, Aleks in a high chair, Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Mia, Alberta, Ryan and Finally Dimitri, the look of pride and love is so clear. Every part of me wanted to go to him and just stay in his arms forever, but would it really be forever? What's to say he won't decide to leave when his pride gets the better of him?

I still remember the day he left…

_2 years Earlier_

_I stood at the gates beside his car; his bags were all in the back. I had tears streaming down my cheeks, how could he do this?  
"Roza…I'm sorry. I can't let you risk your life for me" he whispered standing directly in front of me "that day in the caves, when you came in there we got lucky Roza. You don't know how close that Strigoi was to snapping your neck…if it weren't for your mother he would've. You were in there to save me and I can't let that happen, I can't lose you like that. I want you to move on with your life. I know you think we're meant to be together but there's someone else for you" he placed a soft kiss on my forehead and got into his car, I was speechless and broken from that moment on. _

The memory of that day snapped me out of my desire to go to him, I sat down beside Lissa grinning at her  
"this is amazing Lissa" I grinned at her "I can't believe you did all of this"  
"It wasn't just her" Christian laughs  
"So you're the fire user keeping this under control?" I attempted to raise an eyebrow  
"Nope, Aunt Tasha actually paid us a visit and she's the one doing this" I felt my blood boil as I knew the look on my face probably spoke volumes  
"She what?" I looked around for her  
"Where is she?" Dimitri suddenly roared  
"What's going on?" Lissa whispered  
"SHE is the one who kept Dimitri away"

Some of the people at the table were completely confused and I didn't feel like explaining it to them, I was already on my feet stalking around the room looking for her, I hadn't failed to notice Dimitri right there with me. The look on his face showed anger, deep in his eyes I could see hurt there as well.

We finally found her sitting toward the edge of the room near some of the candles she hadn't realised we were there.

_**Dimitri's POV**_

"YOU" I roared "HOW COULD YOU?"  
"How could I what Dimka? I don't know what you're talking about" she put on an innocent act that pissed me off even more  
"You know exactly what you did Tasha, I thought you were my friend but you selfishly kept me and my SON apart, I missed his first year of life because of you" I was yelling by now and everyone was staring  
"I did no such thing Dimka!" she practically squealed "She's lying!" she pointed in Roza's direction  
"Don't lie Tasha, I've seen the copies of the letters and I've seen the phone records, the more you lie the more pissed off I get. You can consider me gone from your life, you'll have to find a new guardian because I'm not planning on missing anymore of my son's life, not for anyone." I hissed before I noticed the heat in the room increasing, Tasha looked really pissed off but so did Roza.

"If you think I'm going to let you leave this room alive after you lied to me time after time on the phone, you deprived my son of his father and you deprived me of the support I needed" they were in each other's faces  
"You think anyone is going to believe that bastard child is Dimitri's son? He's Dhampir, you're Dhampir it's impossible, I knew you were lying from the start so I was protecting Dimitri" Tasha scowled, the room was boiling hot by now.  
"You don't have a clue what you're talking about Tasha, Dimitri is Aleksander's father and I sure as hell do not need to prove it to you. You're the most selfish, uncaring bitch I've ever met. You'll get yours one day Tasha it won't be at my hands, not just yet, not when this is my celebration and especially not when my son is in the room." Roza looked so beautiful her anger radiated through the room, the room began to cool down as the candles went out, I didn't think that was Tasha's doing.

Rose and Tasha were still in each other's faces, I pulled Rose away "She's not worth it Roza"  
"Your pathetic Dimitri, you've fallen for this immature petulant little child's lies, I hope you realise that little bastard isn't yours before it's too late and you've spent 18 years raising it" she scowled  
"that's enough Aunt Tasha" Christian stepped in grabbing her and pushing her backward. Rose was thrashing in my arms growling and swearing in anger, letting her go would be satisfying but definitely a mistake. I knew the darkness was setting in.  
"Shh Roza calm down, she's not worth it. Stop struggling, please" and then I did something I knew I shouldn't have and kissed her, it certainly stopped her thrashing around, and unbelievably she kissed me back…

_**Rose's POV**_

Dimitri finally broke the kiss as I stood there in his arms staring at him, the room really had faded around us, I wasn't worried about Tasha; all I could think was wow. We were in our own world…I vaguely heard Tasha screeching but I didn't care. Suddenly there was a pull on my arm; I turned my head to see my mother. She was holding Aleksander who was crying, I took him from her hugging him to me  
"Shh, it's okay baby, it's okay. Mummy's okay" I whispered, he calmed down soon after as Dimitri watched us both concerned "he's okay now" I smiled at him starting to feel awkward, we had just kissed, I hadn't stopped him; In fact I'd enjoyed it.  
"Can I hold him?" Dimitri asked looking anxious  
"Sure you can…Aleks I'm going to give you too Dimitri okay?" I asked him, he nodded even though I didn't think actually understood. I passed him to Dimitri; he clung to him as if he knew he was with his father. It was amazing to see the two of them together, anyone who doubted that Dimitri was his father just had to look at the two of them to see the resemblance. It was like looking at adult Dimitri and baby Dimitri at once.

After an hour or so the tense atmosphere disappeared and I was actually able to enjoy my graduation ball, Lissa and I were in the middle of the dance floor, she looked amazing, she wore a fitted light pink, purple, and blue sequined chiffon gown with dark purple heels and light blue earrings and matching bracelet, she had purple eye shadow lightly put around her eyes and light pink lipstick, she always managed to look amazing and she always managed to make me look amazing, I had no doubt that her dress and shoes were extremely expensive as well, but now was not the time to worry about that.

"May I have this dance Roza?" his familiar accent cut through the air like a knife, internally I was slowly melting but I'd never show it  
"Sure Comrade" I smiled.  
He laced his fingers through mine as we danced close our hands clasped together in the middle of us  
"I'm so proud of you Roza…you've come so far in your training and you've done an amazing job with Aleksander at the same time. I wish I could have been there for you both and I wish that I could have seen Tasha for what she really was" his voice was a strange mixture of pride, sadness and pain  
"It's all in the past Dimitri, I'm just glad you'll be in Aleksander's life from now on, he needs his father" I smiled, I wasn't prepared to admit that I needed him in my life…I didn't need him in it but a big part of me wanted him in it.  
"Do you think you'll ever forgive me leaving you?" his question startled me, it was as if he read my mind, I'd forgotten how well he knew me.  
"I don't know Dimitri, it's not that simple, I understand why you never came back but I don't understand why you left in the first place and I can't know that your pride won't prevent us from being together in the future." I sighed, I enjoyed being so close to him but those thoughts were still firmly planted in my mind.

"I never left because of pride…" he paused for a second "I left because I thought it was the best thing for you…"  
"Well it wasn't" I snapped before I could stop myself, he looked so hurt. I pulled my hands away from his quickly "I better go check how Aleks was for Janine when she put him down." I darted off leaving Dimitri watching me with a look of sadness that mirrored my own.

I woke up to Aleksander's cries and practically fell out of bed trying to get to him "Aleks" I ran to the bedroom to find him pointing to the door. Dimitri stood there looking hurt "I…I just wanted to hold him again…" he stammered  
"It's okay Dimitri, really" I smiled and picked Aleks up "that's no way to treat your papa" I chuckled as Aleks' eyes widened, he understood what I meant as he reached toward his father. I passed him to Dimitri who was now grinning.  
"You know, you could've just asked" I winked at him, I couldn't get the kiss out of my mind but Aleks was a good distraction  
"I know, but I didn't want to wake you, your mother let me in and said it would be okay…not before a little warning"  
"She did what?" a part of me was amused but I was extremely horrified that she had done that  
"I just let her, if it gives her some peace of mind then I'm not going to argue with her, my mother would do the same." He shrugged  
"are you sure?"  
"I'm sure Roza" he smiled.

His eyes soon drifted to my body, he was staring, I realised I was only wearing a silky black nightie with lace trimming, it was very revealing and something I rarely wore for a reason.  
"See something you like Comrade?" it was like we were back in that lounge at the academy…except he was holding our child in his arms, with that realisation I was startled back into the stark reality that was Dimitri and I. There was no Dimitri and I, I could never trust him.

"I'll go get changed, you just take care of bean for me…" I stammered before leaving the room as fast as possible. I was mentally slapping myself for saying that. Hell I was considering how much it would hurt if I bitch slapped myself right now. I changed into a pair of jeans and a black ruffled tank top, simple, comfortable and practical. Normally I would have been dressing in my finest guardian attire but Lissa had given me the day off to get my head straight and sort out Aleksander's childcare situation. I slipped my feet into my favourite pair of black ballet flats. I decided against make up and brushed my hair tying it back into a long ponytail.

I went back to Aleksander's bedroom peaking in the door to find Dimitri sitting in the chair with him, he was bouncing him up and down on his lap as he spoke fluent Russian to him, Aleks would respond every now and then when he understood or had a word that corresponded with his father's chatter. I smiled fondly, this was something I never imagined happening; I let out a silent scowl as thoughts of Tasha's comments came to mind. I had definitely got it wrong about her and if I ever caught sight of her again she would know just how I felt about her, her comments and her secret keeping.

"Thinking about Tasha?" Dimitri interrupted her thoughts, she hadn't even realised he knew she was there  
"What makes you say that?" I questioned innocently  
"You look like you want to punch someone" he chuckled lowly as Aleksander giggled, he was so unaware of the situation, he was giggling just to be like his father.  
"Okay…you're right. I just can't stand that she said all of that, about me and about our son before I could get one good punch in…well…" I trailed off remembering why I hadn't been able to Tasha. Regardless of that I knew punching her would have solved nothing.  
"Punching her would have made you feel better but it wouldn't have changed what she did and it would have landed you in a lot of trouble. The royals are taking the Ozera family seriously again." He frowned "You wouldn't be able to guard the princess. I know for sure that Tasha would make sure Aleks was taken off you…" he sighed, he was right and that's what pissed me off the most.  
"What do we do? I mean how can we just let this go?" I knew I was letting my frustration take over.  
"We have no choice but to let it go for now. It will work out soon." He gave me a small smile  
"Fine" I huffed crossing my arms  
Good, don't do anything rash Rose" he sound so much like my mentor in that moment  
"I won't, you have my word comrade." I chuckled. Aleksander curled up in Dimitri's arms dozing off "you know he'll probably want you to do that every time he has to sleep" I teased  
"well if that's what he wants that's what he gets" he grinned proudly down at his new found son.

He sat there for hours holding Aleks as he slept, it was possibly the cutest thing I'd ever seen, once I'd finally gotten rid of Dimitri I made the tough decision to go shopping with Lissa. I placed Aleksander in his push chair strapping him in before handing him Dumbo, I put a bag of supplies in the bottom basket before leaving the room, I walked slowly as I approached Dimitri's apartment, I had finally made my mind up about asking him to come. The door was slightly ajar as I approached it  
"What about our _son_ Dimka? Have you forgotten about him?" I heard the horrible screech of Tasha's voice "and what about our _marriage_?"  
I stood there listening, was I hearing what I thought I was hearing? Dimitri had a son AND a marriage, what the hell? He married her, he married Tasha Ozera and he hadn't even had the balls to tell me. I would strangle him when I got him alone.  
"Tasha don't be like that, this is different" he sounded pained and uncomfortable  
"Maybe if you hadn't run away from everything then I wouldn't be _like that_" she retorted.

I didn't stick around to hear any more from the apparently arguing _married_ couple, I knocked furiously on Lissa's door blinking back the tears that had formed in my eyes. What was I thinking anyway? Dimitri had moved on, I had already decided not to be with him…but deep down I knew I had gotten my hopes up again, especially after the kiss. The thing that hit me the hardest was not how it affected me, but how it affected Aleksander, if he could leave me and this apparent other son so easily, then it would probably be really easy for him to leave Aleks when he felt like it and then my son would know his father had left him this time. Lissa opened the door looking confused  
"what the hell Rose? What's with the harsh knocking, whatever it is, my door didn't do it" she chuckled  
"Did you know?" I demanded  
"did I know what?"  
"Did you know that Tasha and Dimitri are married and have a kid?" I spat Tasha's name  
"They're what?" she was genuinely shocked to hear that piece of fantastic news.

**Dimitri's POV**

"What about our _son_ Dimka? Have you forgotten about him?" Tasha screeched horribly "and what about our _marriage_?"  
"Tasha don't be like that, this is different" I pleaded  
"Maybe if you hadn't run away from everything then I would be like that" she replied using my own words against me  
"Don't you dare act like getting married was anything more than a way to help you adopt Sebastian. I do love Sebastian and I will make sure I'm still in his life somehow but my priority right now is Aleksander, he is my son and I want to be in his life fulltime because thanks to your pathetic games I already missed some of it" I scowled, she truly was pathetic. I used to love being friends with her, our friendship had been important to me, but now it meant nothing and it never would again.

**Rose's POV  
**Lissa and I had set off shopping after talking for a little while; I was still distracted by the constant thoughts of what I'd heard. Aleksander merrily watched as Lissa came out of the dressing room in a stunning blue halter neck dress; it was entirely horizontally ruffled and had a black belt below the chest area to break it up. Her eyes looked so stunning in contrast to the dress and it made her pale skin look like it was porcelain, it certainly snapped me out of my angry trance.  
"You look amazing Liss…" I trailed off as she beamed at me  
"You finally actually looked, instead of saying nice" she chuckled  
"whatever Liss…so what's the special occasion?"  
"Dinner, at my place tonight, Christian and I have had it planned for a while, everyone else has already been invited…but I figured I'd ask you today because I already bought your outfit so you can't say no" she grinned.  
"When can I see it?" I questioned, there was no use in arguing  
"when we get back to your apartment" she chuckled; she knew she had me  
"Okie dokie then, happy now?" I grinned  
"very" she clapped excitedly.

Today was going to be a very long day…

**A/N: so what do you guys think? Aren't you glad I didn't end the chapter without explaining exactly what's going on…I was very tempted but I decided against it. Reviews are really appreciated!**


	5. Stronger Than Me

**Authors Note:**

**So SORRY I haven't updated in such long time, I got busy and with that plot twist I wrote myself into tough spot, there will be a lot of action in this chapter and I'll try to do VA justice! I looked at the stats for December and I couldn't believe it got so many views when it hasn't been updated in so long! Thanks to everyone who stuck around and I hope you guys like this and like where I went with it. Sorry for any mistakes!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing…**

I went back to Lissa's apartment with her, it was already well decorated for the dinner.  
"Dude you've put a lot of effort into this" I chuckled  
"Of course I have, you know my dinners are always extravagant" she laughed mockingly  
"What's the occasion?" I blurted  
"it's our anniversary" she beamed  
"oh yeah, congratulations Lissa, I'm so happy for you and fire crotch, you two have lasted a while now" I grinned and threw my arms around her; at least one of us was happy. Internally…I was falling apart but I would never show it and I was so thankful that the bond still worked one way. Why would Dimitri lie to me? My heart was breaking all over again, I was hoping I could trust him eventually but I don't think I ever could again. I tried my best to blink back the fresh tears that were forming in my eyes but failed miserably when a tear rolled silently down my cheek.  
"Liss, I need to go get ready" I put on my brave face "where's my outfit?" I smiled  
"let me go grab it" she wandered off as I stood there biting my lip and blinking the tears back. She came back with 3 different bags.  
"Want help taking them to your apartment?" she smiled, she knew I was upset but she also knew better than to ask  
"It's okay" I took the bags from her and gave her a half hug before going back to the apartment as quick as I possibly could. I burst into tears almost right away; I pulled my cell out eventually texting Adrian once I could see through the tears that were flowing, he needed to come get Aleksander, I didn't want my son to see me in this state.

After about 5 minutes of nonstop crying there was a knock on the door  
"Thanks for coming on such short notice" I blubbered as I opened the, except it wasn't Adrian. It was Dimitri  
"Roza…what's wrong?" he looked concerned  
"You don't get to ask me that Dimitri, you lied to me, you don't deserve to know" I hissed as my tears dried with my growing anger  
"I…I didn't lie" he sputtered out looking concerned  
"You did Dimitri, Now go sit down, you and I have some terms to discuss." I sounded incredibly cold but that was all I could be, I couldn't allow myself to fall for him again.

There was another knock on the door and this time it had to be Adrian. I opened it and there he was, dependable, helpful Adrian. I took Aleksander's push chair and pushed him over to Adrian. Aleks smiled gleefully at the sight of his favourite uncle.  
"Thanks Adrian" he nodded understandingly before I shut the door.  
I turned to look at Dimitri, my heart ached at the sight of him, he looked so concerned but all I could think was that he was liar. He lied to me.  
I sat down one couch motioning for Dimitri to sit on the couch across from me "why did you lie about Tasha? And your son?" I asked not being able to stop myself…my heart was in my throat as my voice broke with every word.  
"It's not like that Roza" he practically begged "I married Tasha so she could adopt her son" he tried to explain, but all I heard was blah. Blah. Blah. Lie. Lie. Lie.  
"I don't care what the reason is Dimitri. You lied." I was starting to get pissed off; since Aleksander's birth I rarely lost my temper with anyone, it took a hell of a lot of self-control but I didn't want him to see that attitude.  
"I'm sorry…I was just so ashamed of myself and my actions" he looked sad and it was hard to resist  
"You should be ashamed Dimitri, you married that horrible women, you let her use you!" I yelled "now there's a poor child involved, you can't tell me that her son doesn't see you as his father either, you have a responsibility to him as well as Aleks, I won't let your other son miss out of his father either." Apart from that one outburst I was doing surprisingly well at keeping my temper at bay  
"Roza please, I will be in both of their lives. I'm sorry I lied, I just never wanted you to know about something I was so ashamed of." He looked down, sometimes I found it hard to be angry with him when he looked at me with those beautiful eyes of his but right now was not one of those occasions.

"Here's how it will go Dimitri. You will visit Aleksander on a daily basis, the visits will be here and I will be there. Tasha is not allowed anywhere near my son or my apartment. I would never stop you from seeing your son. But if you so much as breathe the wrong way around Aleksander I will stop you. Three strikes and you're out." I kept my eyes on him as he looked up his eyes meeting mine, I would not waiver, not when out son was concerned "Same goes, If you so much as look like leaving the visits will be cut from 3 hours to 1 and then down to none, I will wean my son off of you if need be." My tone was harsh and uncaring, it had to be.  
"I won't ever leave Roza" he sounded sad  
"Now if you'll excuse me I have to get ready for dinner at Lissa's place, since Tasha is Christians aunt I know she will be there so please keep your wife under to control I don't want her shit ruining Chris and Lissa's dinner." The more I spoke the more I sounded like I didn't care. I had to do that if I wanted to push Dimitri back out of my life. I got to my feet and opened the front door motioning for him to leave; he did as he was asked.

I was surprisingly calm as I picked up the bags Lissa had so graciously given me and took them to the bedroom. I went through them finding a purple flowing strapless top and black skinny jeans with black open toe sling backs, she'd picked out some suitable jewellery as well, and even the makeup was ready. I took a quick shower and got changed before combing my long dark hair deciding to let it dry wavy. I did my makeup, slipped my shoes and jewellery on, then I did something I hadn't in a while, I pulled out my leather bound diary and wrote about my day, the pain of Dimitri's lies, the comfort I took from being able to shut him out, the upcoming dinner which would most definitely be awkward and the discomfort of knowing my son could get hurt by Dimitri. By the time I finished a small amount of weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I text Adrian asking him to bring Aleks to the party with him. It'd be easier to meet there and quite frankly I didn't feel like looking at a mini version of Dimitri for a few more minutes. I had bought Lissa and Christian an anniversary present a while ago, before my mind had been clouded by Dimitri and Tasha and all the drama.

I made my way to Lissa and Christian's apartment knocking on the door, finally completely calm, almost serene. Lissa opened the door with a bright smile on her face  
"Come in Rose" she pulled me into a hug as I walked in the door "we'll talk tomorrow" she whispered cautiously, I nodded and approached Christian putting on a grin  
"Congratulations Fire Crotch you tamed the only Dragomir" I exclaimed giving him a cheeky look  
"Thanks Rosie" he chuckled giving me a tight hug  
"You're welcome" I grinned again, Christian and I got along well, we had this weird animosity between us based on nothing yet when we wanted to we were the best of friends. I looked around the room and found Adrian sitting on the couch with Aleksander on his lap, I approached with a big grin, happy to see my son in one piece.

"There they are, my two favourite men" I chuckled and gave Adrian a kiss on the cheek picking a squealing Aleksander up, there was some hope for family loyalty with this kid "thanks Adrian" I smiled  
"it's never a problem little Dhampir" he patted my arm as I took a seat beside him "did you manage to get things sorted?"  
"In terms of childcare, yes, yes I did." I answered carefully, he had missed my main bout of crying when he turned up but he knew I had been upset  
"What went wrong Little Dhampir? Why were you so upset?" he whispered  
"I…I can't say right now…I need more time to process things. I'm okay, I promise." I wasn't exactly lying to Adrian, just stretching the truth.  
"Whatever you say Little D." He clearly didn't believe me as he got up approaching Mia.

There was a knock on the door as Lissa went to answer, on the other side of the door stood Dimitri and Tasha, neither of them looked particularly happy but I had to try my best not to care. Aleksander let out a delighted giggle as he spotted Dimitri, he had already grown attached to his father and it pained me to think of Dimitri leaving him again. Getting to my feet I took Aleksander over to Dimitri  
"he was really happy to see you" I said quietly trying to hide any emotion  
"I'm really happy to see him" he offered a small smile obviously trying not to tread on any toes  
"Good" I placed Aleksander in Dimitri's waiting arms as he clung to his father "I need to go for a walk" I muttered, wandering out the door before anyone could stop me, I made my way down the hall to the stairway that led to the roof top terrace, I took a seat on the bench seat looking over the court. I often found the time to come up here when I needed to clear my mind, and now was no exception. I wasn't sure how long I'd sat there staring at nothing as I processed my emotions and thoughts.

"You should be more careful, someone might follow you" a feminine voice hissed from behind, I turned my head to find Tasha standing there  
"I didn't think you'd be dumb enough to try and follow me" I stood and began to approach her, I wouldn't back down from her and she knew it. I knew I had the physical advantage when it came to fighting, but she was just as skilled as I was and she had her fire ability to back her up.  
"You can insult my intelligence all you want but I won't allow you to take Dimitri for a ride, using him to raise your kid." She exclaimed in a show of genuine outrage, she truly believed what she was saying.  
"I don't understand what makes you think I'm lying Tasha" I sighed, I didn't want to fight "this is wasn't something I planned but Dimitri is Aleksander's father, you just have to look at them." I pleaded, I had always liked Tasha up until Dimitri's arrival and her betrayal.  
"He looks nothing like Dimitri; everyone knows you're a blood whore who didn't use protection" she hissed angrily as my temper began to flare, I backed away slowly as a ball of fire appeared between her hands "I wouldn't push your luck Hathaway."

I began to formulate a plan in my head, this was where the training provided by both Alberta and Dimitri came into play. I seriously considered the option of running. Who knew Dimitri's advice would apply to his own wife? I certainly hadn't considered the option of ever having to run from a Moroi, but I had my son to think of now. I couldn't risk my life. Keeping my eyes on Tasha I slipped my heels off, running in them wouldn't get me far. I took a few steps toward her; I needed to get her to act and figure out just how far she'd be willing to go.

I lunged at her just managing to dodge the fire ball she threw in my direction as I tackled her to the ground, getting to my feet I ran toward the door frantically. I pulled at the door handle crying out in pain as it burnt the palm of my hand.

"You didn't think it would be that easy did you Rose" she was right behind me, her breath was hot on the back of my neck she was so close. The pain the built up on my hands was unbearable as the smell of burning flesh filled the air around us. She was using her fire to take my ability to fight her out of the equation. I attempted to ignore the pain as I used my elbow to punt her in the stomach and then in the face, the burning sensation stopped for moment as she was distracted. I ran the perimeter of the roof finding no viable form of escape without the use of my hands, Tasha slammed into my back as I hit the ground, I was getting sloppy and letting the pain and emotion take over my rational thoughts.

She pulled me to my feet by the hair pushing me against the small barrier the sat around the perimeter of the roof terrace, a cold unforgiving look sat upon the warm friendly face I was used to. Her blue eyes pierced mine and showed no remorse, she looked crazy. So this was it, I wasn't going to die at the hands of a Strigoi, I wasn't going to die because I'd opened my mouth and pissed someone off, I was going to die at the hands of Natasha Ozera, one of my best friends aunt, a woman I had once admired. The woman who was the wife of the love of my life, I wonder if Dimitri really knew what Tasha was capable of. I decided not to fight this, I'd die with dignity, and this wasn't a fight I was proud of. She had outclassed me in every way possible.

"This would be the perfect way for me to get rid of you; it might even look like an accident" she sneered  
"I wouldn't look like an accident, look at my hands" I looked back at her, maybe giving up was pathetic. I'd spent so much time controlling everything about myself that I was handing my fate to Tasha and putting my life in her hands.

I watched as she was torn away from me, I hadn't been aware of anyone else on the terrace right this moment. I took a moment to calm down before setting me eyes on Tasha and Dimitri who were now fighting, she wasn't using her fire abilities on him, that much was clear. Dimitri had clear control over the fight as he attempted to restrain her; she clawed at his eyes managing to escape his hold and ran toward me as I dived out of the way. Dimitri lunged at her, hitting her with so much force that she hit the railing and lost her balance stumbling to a point of no return. We both watched in horror as she hit the ground with a sickening thud, her eyes were wide open and lifeless, her body was stiff and unmoving…she was dead. I stood there gaping for a few minutes before I found my eyes drifting to Dimitri, he looked crushed he was on his knees staring at the ground. I moved toward him and carefully wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders.  
"It's not your fault" I whispered  
"I killed her Roza." He looked at me with tears rolling down his cheeks; I'd never seen the man that I deemed a god look so vulnerable and lost.

I wasn't sure how long we stayed in the position but soon people were rushing around checking for evidence, trying to retrace steps and figure out what happened. Strangely no one approached us; they were all too busy trying to figure out what went on instead of asking one of us. The sting of my hands was now a distant memory as I clung to Dimitri for dear life, I wasn't sure why, maybe it was because he saved me? Maybe it was just me giving into my needs or maybe it was seeing him such a broken state that made me stay there. All I knew was that I wasn't leaving.


End file.
